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First Week in Florida--
the Gulf

May 5, 2006. We arrive at the Florisle Airport,
rent a blue Hyundai Sonata and drive out to
Port Cay Beach, where we've been staying
since an unfortunate turn of events altered
our plans four years ago, and we were forced
to move six miles down the beach, to
Robert's.
Talk about serendipitous.
We arrive at Robert's Port Cay Resort and
check into a second-floor efficiency facing the
gulf. Here's our balcony; you can see the

palm trees. the sand, and the gulf sea water
which surpasses description!!


May 6, 2006. Dr. Ruiz and his wife Mary pick
us up at 7:30 a.m. I don't know what 7:30
a.m. is. I don't know what a sunrise looks like
except from pictures. Sunrise pictures are
lovely but not enough to get me up early to
actually see it. Nevertheless I am awake and
dressed in a suit on Freud's 150th birthday,
ready to be driven into the city of Firenze, FL
to give a talk to the Firenza Psychoanalytic
Society. I try to conceal how I'm squinting at
the sun like a vampire. I'm sweating in my
black suit. Morning makes me want to throw
up. This is how people are interesting--how
we can operate on all kinds of levels at the
same time. That is, I'm sweating in a black
cotton suit. It's early morning which makes
me want to throw up, and I go into Firenza to
give a coherent two hour talk about a
complicated subject without being someone
who functions in the morning.

I realize that I forgot to pack my camera. I
have a relationship with my camera so this is
distressing. It's not like there's a replacement.

On the table of refreshments there is a big
rectangle cake with Freud's face in frosting.
May 6th has been declared Freud Day by the
mayor of Florisle.
I give my talk on the techno-schizoid in film
including exciting film clips I compiled on
videocassette with a total lack of
technological finesse.
When the talk is over, someone drives us
back to the beach where we spend hours
starting to tan and swim in warm gulf water.    
     We had an entire fight and resolution in
the water. I was on my purple float, a huge
inner tube. I forgot what the fight was about
but I was the bad one. Blah blah blah I
always am. I insist.
We were taken out to dinner in St. Firenza. I
was so tired by that point that I think I made a
bad impression.

Narcissists always think, "they LOVE me" or
"they hate me", as if it's one or the other all of
the time.

I spent the rest of the week in the water.

Two months later I still couldn't understand
why anyone would live anywhere besides
Florida. To my surprise I find that the thought
of Florida makes a lot of people cringe, which
is good in terms of potential real estate in the
Gulf area.
Second week--Atlantic side

I like it more here.